If Football teams were women

[ballymanabroad]

If football teams were women:

Kerry would be Angelina Jolie – Always looks good and a favourite of everyone but not all there in the head.

Galway would be Elle MacPherson - past her glorious best but still easy on the eye and an old favourite with most.

Tyrone would be Britney Spears - at times can look stunning, at others it can get ugly.

Antrim would be Annabel Chong - can cop a pounding and keep coming back for more, all in the name of self-improvement.

Dublin would be Jordan - has the biggest assets going around, but we all know they're not the real deal.

Cork would be Kylie Minogue - very decent despite not having much up front.

Mayo would be Danii Minogue - Always trying hard, but will never measure up.

Meath would be Madonna - past her glorious best, but refuses to accept it gracefully.

Westmeath would be Whitney Houston - has not looked after herself in recent years and has gone completely off the rails.

Kildare would be Delta Goodrem - tidy, attractive, professional and uncontroversial. Nice to look at, but for some reason just makes you want to yawn.

Cavan would be Paris Hilton – A lot of talk about them but in reality, she lays down way too easily.

Laois would be Shakira - proof that being short is no barrier to getting you excited.

Armagh would be Christina Aguilera - looks like she enjoys it rough and dirty.

Kilkenny would be Amelie Mauresmo - last woman on Earth scenario: i.e: you still wouldn't.

[Hocker]

Offaly would be Jennifer Aniston - Stylish, sleek, look good but probably will never be good enough to win an oscar (All-Ireland)...

[the bare biffo]

Kilkenny would be Amelie Mauresmo - last woman on Earth scenario: i.e: you still wouldn't.

Alternatively;

Kilkenny would be Nadia from big brother; only pretending.